Not feeling so great – To try or not to try.

Do you ever have those days, those times when you wonder why? Why bother, why try, something sets you back, words said that just derail you for the day even if to someone else there inconsequential. That is how today has felt for me. I started the day with some motivation despite not sleeping and having nightmare again. Thank-you for that aripiprazole.

I have been thinking of starting up a sugar-craft business on etsy selling gumpaste flowers. Its one of the only things i’m okay at and with some practice I think it could be worth it, if i can get the confidence to try. So i was speaking to someone close to me about it and from the offset i knew it was a bad idea. I was hoping to maybe get some ideas or share some and maybe get some advice. However what I was met with was negativity, just a string of everything that could go wrong (as if i hadn’t already thought of that) and my mood plummeted instantly. Even if they didn’t mean it to sound negative, it started off a chain reaction of thoughts that just made me feel awful about myself.

Sometimes I think my family think of me as a burden, as just the girl with OCD, crippling mental health problems and forget to see me as I am – just Stacey. I don’t just want to be seen as the girl with OCD. Who cant live a normal life, or have a normal job with all my obsessions, compulsions, panic attacks and fits of depression. I feel as though they think that I am not a capable adult, and I guess sometimes i’m not, but I try I really do. I have to remind myself that although I am having a bad day, there’s always tomorrow. keep trying again and again until your’e not drowning. I’m lucky and I know it I have a husband I love and a son who I adore even if he drives me nuts occasionally. I don’t know when or how but one day I will set up my sugar craft business, because even if it fails at least I can say I have tried.

Keep well xx


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